Years ago, when all I wanted was to be a wife and mother, I had a really hard time with my inability to make the mother part a reality.  There were a bunch of medical explanations and a ton of blood drawn to check my hormone levels and a whole lot of blood loss when I miscarried and I’ll never forget the morning I was scheduled for a D&C.  I checked into the hospital due to the fact that I was hemorrhaging and when the nurse arrived to draw blood I simply said in a rather relaxed, laid back tone, “Good luck.”  I had no idea just how much blood my body contained or how much it  needed to keep me alive so I wasn’t sure if her efforts to retrieve more would be successful.  Apparently there was enough but the nurse did need to resort to a vein in my upper arm as the remnants of what was left in my hand wasn’t enough to fill the vial.

What I didn’t know then is just how much my beautiful nieces were going to prove to me that I didn’t need to have babies of my very own to feel the love between a woman and a child.  I was so focused on what I wanted and thought I needed to be happy that I sort of forgot how blessed I already was.

Late last night I was reminded, yet again, of how blessed I am when I received a text from my sister.  It read, “Alli and Dan got engaged tonight!”  The excitement of those words sent waves of unimaginable joy that started at the top of my head and whipped all the way down to my toes!  I sent her a typical “WHAT?????!!!!! REALLY????!!!!!!” response and then paid a visit to my nieces’ Facebook page and saw pictorial proof of this much anticipated and very exciting moment!  Not long after I assembled a few “Proud Psychotic Aunt” comments for her Facebook post my phone rang.  It was Alli.  She saw the comments and knew I was still awake.  Due to the fact that I had a few minutes to experience the emotions that trigger volatile tear duct flooding and nasal decongesting I  was ready to hear just how this life changing event had occurred.  I almost lost it a couple of times when we were talking but she would have understood.  She gets me.  People have commented numerous times about how much she reminds them of me.  I love it when I hear this because she is everything I could ever hope to be.  She’s successful, witty and creative with words spoken as well as written.  Sometimes I still see the little girl with the bouncy little blonde pig tails I loved to spend time with when she was growing up and at other times I see the college kid I comforted when she realized she chose the wrong college and the wrong degree and in the future I will see the beautiful woman she has become as she marries the love of her life and becomes his wife!

Life is such an incredible process.  As time goes on I’ve learned that I don’t always know what’s best for me but God always does.  He challenges me, He comforts me, He continues to bless me and His timing and reasons for everything are about as perfect as perfect could be.