Don’s work schedule can get a bit hectic at times and it’s not uncommon for him to be gone several nights a week. He gets sort of used to living out of a suitcase but packing it is always a chore and he appreciates anything I’m willing to do to help. Time away was scheduled, once again and I had some time before work so I decided to get the ball rolling. I began to assemble several of the things I knew he would be needing and due to the fact that he loves the way I get his shirts suitcase ready, I gathered as many as I could find and got them all neatly folded. Next I walked around the bed and decided to see what was still in his suitcase from the last time he was away. I wanted to give him a bit of a jump start on packing and removing the things still in there from the last trip seemed like a pretty logical idea. At first all I noticed were some assorted t-shirts and a pair of jeans and a work shirt but then I noticed something odd. It wasn’t a color I was used to seeing when I opened Don’s suitcase so my hands immediately took hold of the item and I must say, what I saw was just a bit different than what I was expecting and it didn’t take long to realize the very feminine mint green pajamas trimmed in matching lace WEREN’T MINE!
What a way to start your day!
It’s funny how your brain immediately thinks the worst but then feels guilty and makes some very immediate attempt to save your man’s rear end? It comes up with an impressive assortment of logical reasons your man has women’s pajamas in his suitcase that don’t belong to you. Below is a list of what transpired within the amount of time it took me to take hold of them and head down the hall for the photo shoot about to happen that would be followed by a text explaining to him what I had found.
1. I have Alzheimer’s and these pajamas are actually mine and I just forgot.
2. They really aren’t there. They are simply a figment of my imagination. (This one had flaws from the get go. I had the item in question in my hand for crying out loud!)
3. The neighbor is quite the joker and I’ll bet he planted them in that suitcase when we weren’t looking, just to spice things up in our relationship.
4. They’re a gift for me he found at a thrift store because it was obvious they had definitely been worn a few times and when he saw them he just knew I’d love them so he bought them and forgot to give them to me.
5. He’s a cross dresser. Oh shit. (At this point I was glad I had located my phone for the picture I was planning on taking to send to Don. I have nothing against cross dressers but we just don’t have the closet space for more clothes!) (Okay, I’m lying. I don’t want to deal with a cross dresser.)
And then I remembered the last hotel he stayed at wasn’t a hotel at all but rather the spare bedroom at his parent’s house. After a rather long “ulcer inducing” wait time following my “It’s no biggie. I was just surprised.” text to him, I found out what had happened. He saw them laying in the chair in the bedroom while staying at his parent’s house a few weeks ago and thought they were probably mine. He wasn’t sure how they ended up in his suitcase but we did learn that his mom was the one who put them in the spare bedroom thinking they were mine. She and he and I still don’t know who lost their pajamas but we do know they weren’t a figment of my imagination and they had nothing to do with number 6 on the list of thoughts I had racing through my head! Thank goodness!
(No, I didn’t actually type number 6. I think you can figure it out!)
A follow-up from the day after the “Mint Green Surprise.”
Don and I didn’t get a chance to talk until the next day due to our opposite work schedules but what transpired when he got off work was quite interesting.
First he called his mother and asked her if she realized those pajamas she put in the spare bedroom nearly gave me a heart attack. I also found out she was the one that had actually put them in her son’s suitcase so he wouldn’t forget to take them.
Next the “joker” neighbor popped over while I was still at work and gave Don a rather impressive selection of ways to handle this situation. Don overruled all of them due to the fact that Sam has not had a girlfriend for as long as we’ve known him and also because Don knew his woman didn’t need any more fuel added to the ulcer that had already burned up the walls of her stomach before traveling on to her intestines!
I love happy endings…..don’t you?