Not because I was trying in any way, but as of this morning, I have discovered a brand new way to be 100% awake and more alert than you ever imagined possible with that very first step out of bed.  It works better than Folgers in your cup.  It works better than having someone give you a “THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!” shake and even better than having cold water dumped on your head.  It’s not complicated and there are no expensive supplies to purchase.  If you have a really bad memory like me, you can install it yourself the night before and forget by morning which is the method I chose.  If you’re pretty sharp, the second your eyelids slide open you’ll need to have a friend install this proven method of miraculous consciousness for you and trust me, it works!

Okay, now that I’ve aroused your curiosity let me tell you what happened and how this newly found sensation came to be.  My other half told me that he was on his way home to spend Valentine’s Day evening with me.  I was excited but realized I needed to get his gift wrapped and set up the unique way I thought he should find it.  I gathered my supplies and first I slid some “gigantic bubble” variety bubble wrap under the throw that was stretched across the bed where he would sit down to open his gift.  This would give things a little “fireworks” sort of flair when he plopped down, I thought.  I placed his gift on top of the throw near where he would be sitting along with his card and two balloons and then I scattered chocolate hearts all around.  Lastly, I took a roll of curling ribbon and taped one end to his gift and then proceeded to unroll approximately 70 feet of ribbon throughout the house ending up by the front door that he would be walking through in just a few short minutes.  I taped a note to the ribbon that read, “Follow me baby!”  He’s a pretty good sport when it comes to my hi-jinks so he started his journey that led him into the living room, then the dining room, kitchen, hallway, bathroom, spare bedroom and finally to our bedroom.  So he wouldn’t miss out on the “fireworks” part I put a sign on the bed where I wanted him to sit that read, “Butt goes here.”  He found that quite amusing but unfortunately bubble wrap on a mattress doesn’t pop all that easy so the fireworks fizzled.  No POP! No POW! No BANG! but he loved his card, his gift, the balloons and the chocolates.  We shared some hugs and kisses and then went into the dining room to enjoy some fabulous grilled steaks.  We played cards and consumed a few adult beverages and around midnight we headed to bed.  His gifts were still there so I gathered them up and took them into the kitchen and the next thing we knew, it was morning and time to rise and shine.  He got up and headed to the bathroom and I decided to follow.  I was still a bit groggy as I sat up and slid my legs over the side of the bed and then…..my left foot headed to the floor.  My right foot followed and the EXPLOSION that took place once my feet hit the floor nearly put me in an early grave!  I had forgotten all about that crazy bubble wrap I had slipped under the throw and during the night it found it’s way to the floor and waited patiently for me to “light the fuse!!!”

They say some of the best inventions happen by accident.  I’ll bet statistically, emergency rooms meet a lot of inventors!