I’m betting you’ve often times heard, read, or said “If only there was a manual on how to be a parent.”  I wasn’t among any of you but I have found myself wondering if there is a book out there on how to deal with your aging parents.  My Dad has been gone for just over 6 years now but the events leading up to his demise are still quite clear and I suppose they will be for quite some time.

My Mom will turn 80 in July and even though her will to be independent appears to be constructed of solid steel, her knees have decided they need more than a hefty dose of axle grease to continue delivering flawless performance.  She has been a worker all of her life striving to make the lives of her husband and children as comfortable as she possibly could and the thanks she receives are worn out knees, limited mobility in her shoulders and fingers that have a hard time grasping things like they used to.  I understand reality and I’ve come to understand just how true my Dad’s words about my first car would actually become in my life as well.  He said, “If you’re going to use it, it’s going to wear out.”  I’ve also heard “If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.”  Isn’t it strange how true both of those statements can be.  If basically sums up life.

You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t! 

At this point I have an opportunity to go either direction.  I could choose the negative road and complain about life and how unfair it is….

or

I could tell you about an “Amazing” day that occurred when I was knee deep in “caring for an aging parent.”  It wasn’t all about me but I was feeling just as sorry for myself as I was for my Dad when we sat at yet another doctor appointment together receiving more bad news.  It’s terrible to say how tired a person can get when you are asked to be the “cheerleader” at yet another appointment and you’re just not sure you can do it again…..and then…..something happened.

I will never ever ever forget this moment, as long as I live.

My Dad’s gall bladder became inflamed but due to the fact that he had just had radiation treatments for throat cancer, he wasn’t eligible for surgery.  In order for them to do surgery to remove his gall bladder they were going to have to insert a breathing tube and the tissue in his throat was compromised from the radiation and so a drain tube was inserted into his gall bladder to alleviate the excruciating pain he experienced to buy some healing time for his throat.  Several weeks passed when he and Mom and I traveled to the doctor’s office for an appointment with the surgeon that would be removing his gall bladder and we were all hoping he was going to tell us Dad’s wait time was over and the surgery was scheduled.  I took hold of the handles on Dad’s wheel chair and together we headed down the hall while Mom sat patiently in the waiting room.  Things didn’t play out as planned and the devastating news sent Dad into yet an even lower place than he already was.  This big, tough 6’4″ man that appeared to be made of solid steel his entire life was reduced to tears.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever dealt with pain like that but it hurts deeper than I thought deep could go.  It was at that very moment I realized what God’s Grace is all about and I found myself telling Dad that by the Grace of God we were going to get through those next two months and that was that and we were both going to be “just fine.”

God’s Grace is something I had heard about for years but as sad as it is to admit, I honestly had no idea what it was.  I knew it was something good and amazing but that was pretty much all I knew until that day.  The day that would change me forever.  The day that helped me to realize there is always more until there isn’t.  It taught me that as long as there is breath in your lungs you have everything you need to carry on.

Don teases me about how often I say things are going to be “just fine.”  Now he’ll know where I was the day I realized just how powerful and how true those two little words can be.

Thanks for being a part of my writing journey.  I appreciate you so very much.  I never know what will transpire when my fingers hit the keys on my keyboard and I must say this particular session was one that brought a flood of emotions, tears and memories to light but what an incredibly powerful and “Amazing” feeling it has been.  I hope each and every one of you experiences God’s Amazing Grace in your life and that your blessings come in overwhelming amounts!