If you have a dog and you walk it in town, I’m pretty sure you’ve picked up some droppings at least once.  I got in the habit of carrying two plastic bags with me when Missy, our 115 pound St. Bernard/Bloodhound cross and I would head out for our daily adventure.  One to stretch over the hand that would be doing the picking up and one for the prize the bagged hand was fetching.   I’m not sure why I didn’t invest in one of those state of the art pooper scoopers.  I suppose I didn’t want to carry it on our lengthy 2-3 mile walks and the bag thing worked fine.  If she did her business close to home, I would sit the bag on the edge of the road and pick it up when we passed by on our way back and if she did her business farther from home I would usually find a garbage can in the park to toss it in.  I don’t seem to have a problem with tossing.  It’s my flinging that needs work.  Keep reading, you’ll understand.

One day, just after leaving our yard and crossing the street, Missy decided it was already time to take care of her potty business.  Once she was finished I picked up her results and tied the bag handles in a knot and decided to fling it into our driveway.  I walked across the street and stood on the edge of our next door neighbor’s yard so I would be a bit closer to my targeted spot.  There was only one small problem.  I have flinging issues but I don’t often remember this until the object I’m flinging has left my hand.  From past experience the biggest problem had something to do with the timing and when I should let go.  Due to the fact that I didn’t recall my past experiences soon enough, the bag was airborne……going straight up……..and over…….and landed in the neighbor’s beautiful pine tree!  Now, this neighbor is very meticulous.  I’m not so sure I didn’t see him, on one or more occasion, vacuum his yard. He wanted it to look like he was vacuuming his car but how many people park their car on their front lawn to vacuum it?  Very suspicious, don’t you think?  Everything was always perfect, everything, except……his neighbors!  I tried to think quick and decided I had three options.  I could ignore it, hope no one saw me fling it and walk away.  I could go up to his door and explain what had happened or I could shake the ever loving crap out of the branches and hopefully knock the bag down.  I opted for the shake and thankfully it worked.  This was clearly one of those moments you hoped no one was watching but it wasn’t long before I was told there were indeed witnesses and they thanked me for the great laugh they got at my expense! It got even funnier when I was stupid enough to tell them what was in the bag! What a poopie deal!