It was mid August before we realized the camper was probably very lonely. We hadn’t taken it out for any adventures since the 4th of July so we decided to head out to Medora for the weekend and this time we would be experiencing life at a real campground. Don knew just the one we should use as he had camped there years ago. He told me I would absolutely love it as it was filled with a lot of beautiful trees and the camping spots were very private. He said it would almost feel like we were camping all by ourselves out in the woods. Well, who would put a stop to a plan like that? It sounded like paradise and it was just waiting for us to arrive!
The day was sunny and gorgeous. It was a little windy but due to my past experience with wind and this camper, I was well aware that it had passed the “wind test” with flying colors! We were so happy to see the campground had several secluded camping spots available when we arrived. Don is very conscientious and chose a spot that would be just a short walk to the bathrooms. He’s such a wonderful guy! There were black topped pads to park the camper on so Don pulled up next to the spot he chose and proceeded to back the camper into the spot where we would begin the leveling process. I was so excited. This is the part where I get to stand at the back of the camper and watch the little bubble in the level. When it’s in the middle, the camper is ready to be popped up! Rather than hand crank the jacks down, Don brought along his handy, dandy power tool with the jack lowering attachment and began to lower Jack #1. In a matter of seconds he had moved onto Jack #2. I reported the bubble was not quite in the middle so after several, and I do mean several repeated trips to each side of the camper the bubble was still not in the middle. Don felt there was something just a bit strange going on then made a rather interesting discovery. He poked his head around to the back of the camper where I was standing and said, “Bev, I’m not sure what is going on with that bleepity bleeping bubble but the camper wheels are no longer ON THE GROUND!!!!!” Oops! It didn’t take long to realize we would either have to lower the far end of the camper a rather significant amount or sleep on the bed at the other end and make up our minds that being rammed up against the camper window like two marbles on an uneven floor would work just fine for both of us. I’m sure you’ve already figured out which one we did.
After the leveling and popping up were taken care of we decided to check out the bathrooms. We’re still not sure just how nice they are or if they’re well stocked with toilet paper because they were LOCKED! I sat in disbelief for a moment and attempted to figure out just how I was going to make the camping thing work for me. Lord knows most humans have to use a bathroom at least twice a day and at least one of those times on this particular day was going to be while we were in the camper. I don’t like to squat as I don’t like the splatter on my shoes if you know what I mean. I told Don maybe I could sit at the picnic table and slide my back side just over the seat edge and lift my feet in the air and I was told that was just wrong. A woman in desperation has got to have a plan. Guys have much different equipment and don’t understand the issues we woman face with outdoor peeing. We were planning to go into Medora for a bit of shopping before the musical later on that night so I had some time to think about what I could do. Part of my plan was to not drink anything all day. That would certainly help, right? This plan wasn’t 100% reliable as that would be about the time my body decided to rid itself of some excess water weight. I was a bit distracted but we had fun shopping and visiting with Don’s sister, her boyfriend and her youngest daughter as they were also there for the weekend. As the afternoon came to a close, it was time to head back to our camper to freshen up before the steak fondue and musical that evening. We found out there was one bathroom at the very entrance of the campground that was unlocked so we both took advantage of it before and after the musical. When we returned from the musical to use the bathroom, however, we noticed how incredibly dark it was. Would you believe there wasn’t a single, solitary dusk to dawn light shining anywhere? Don was a sweetheart and gave me the flashlight from the pickup when I went in the bathroom. Can you imagine how fun things would have gotten had I went into this dark unfamiliar place only to find out I was sharing it with a wayward raccoon! The flashlight proved to me there were no raccoons, wayward or otherwise, thank goodness so I had the perfect opportunity to squeeze every ounce of fluid I could out of my body in hopes that I wouldn’t need to worry about peeing again until the sun came up.
We managed to find our camper in what would appear to be one of the darkest nights we’ve ever encountered and with the assistance of the flashlight we were able to get out of the pickup and find the camper door and head inside to settle in for the night. The air conditioning on this trip was provided by Mother Nature, thank goodness, as there were also no electrical hook ups available. I remember Don checking the weather on his phone and telling me it was going to be one of the coolest nights August had seen in a long time, possibly a record breaker. I was ready as Aimee and I had packed enough blankets and comforters in the camper to keep us toasty no matter what. Finally we were in bed. I was not allowing my brain to reference any word that had anything to do with having to go to the bathroom. I was not thinking about water or drinking anything. I was going to make it through the night. I kept telling myself, you can do this, you can do this and finally I was asleep. Approximately 2 hours later I’ll bet you can almost guess what happened! Oh no, I was awake and I had to pee! Okay, so I have to pee. What are my options? There has got to be options, right? Okay, I could go out into the black scary night and pee at the picnic table and just not tell Don but with my luck I would trip going out the camper door and break my leg. I could drive the pickup over to the entrance and use the bathroom that was unlocked or……
……I could straddle the tiny little oval shaped garbage can Aimee and I bought when we were shopping for camper supplies. Hmmm…..I wonder if that would work? I could line it with several garbage bags and make sure I have the toilet paper all ready in case something goes terribly wrong…..yes, by golly, I think this will work!
Being resourceful is a very good thing. Having common sense is also a very good thing. Combining both will create a toilet in a camper at the world’s darkest, most primitive campsite in the world any woman would find easy to use!