I will most likely never understand why some people feel it’s okay to point out obvious details that may or may not offend the recipient. Is taking that chance ever worth hurting someone’s feelings or lowering their self esteem that may already be lower than it really needs to be?
I can understand when “sticking your foot in your mouth” moments hit as we all have them but when we say whatever comes to mind before allowing ourselves the time to process how what me might say, might be taken, we may be causing someone a dose of very unnecessary pain.
For me, those moments hit when someone takes a jab at my hair. I don’t care if you shave your head, dye your hair purple or wear a Mohawk. It’s none of my business. The way I wear my hair is none of yours. Some of the ones I’ve heard a million times are, “I spotted you right away, I just looked for the big hair.” or, “Did you stick your finger in a light socket?”
I suppose my reason for having “big hair” has something to do with how thin it has become over time. I tend to fluff it up to make it look like there’s more there. Most people never say anything and that is honestly what I prefer but I met up with another exception to the rule, as they say, today, when I stopped to pick up a few things for supper.
I was 4th in line at the quick stop side of our grocery store. There was a man at the register, another man behind him and a woman ahead of me. I waited patiently for my turn and once the guy at the register turned around he walked back towards us. At first he smiled at me and said “Hi!” That would have been perfect but rather than leave well enough alone he had to add, “…havin’ a crazy hair day, huh?” I said, “Nope, not at all. No more crazy than the rest of me.” He didn’t stop. As he made his way towards the door he continued, “You look about 5 feet taller with that crazy looking hair of yours!” I said, “Bite me.” I didn’t yell it. I stayed very calm. The woman ahead of me turned around and said, “Do you know that guy?” I said “No. I’ve never seen him before in my life and why my hair became his problem, I will never know. I spend time every day curling and styling my hair, applying makeup, choosing clean coordinated clothing and jewelry and I don’t have to take his or anyone’s crap. Honestly, I didn’t like his stocking cap. It didn’t fit his head properly and it looked as if he was hiding an egg on the top of his head but did you hear me say anything?” And then I said, “What an opinionated bastard.” She said, “Yeah!!!, how true!! I love your hair and you have a Merry Christmas!” Typically I don’t react like this but if you’re someone that has a bit of a problem with that filter between your brain and your mouth you might just hear something you hadn’t planned on hearing coming out of my mouth especially if it has something to do with my hair.
I realize it’s best to just walk away from negativity but when someone makes the decision to attack a very sensitive and incredibly vulnerable part of me, I will respond.