Life is such an interesting process, isn’t it?  We’re born and from that moment on our bodies and minds begin to grow and change as each day comes and goes.  Before long we find ourselves glancing back over those years reflecting on the experiences and relationships that have shaped the person we’ve become and if you’re like me, you have memories of people that have changed you forever.

One of those people for me was a woman that became the janitor at the post office where I worked.  She wasn’t just any woman.  She was a devout Catholic.  She was never married and she formed relationships with almost no one.  She was probably in her late sixties when she started her job at the post office and it was then I was given the opportunity to know more about this very private, lonely woman than anyone most likely ever had.  Her story isn’t long and complicated but it’s sad.  She told me about some of the reasons she had for acting the way she did and they broke my heart.

She was born into a family with several male siblings and was told at a very young age she had no value because she wasn’t a boy.  The most unfortunate part of what she was told is the fact that she believed it.   What it did to her wasn’t pretty or “socially acceptable” on the outside as she learned to avoid as much direct contact with people as she could.  If you saw her walking down the street, she would always look away or straight down at the ground and she would never wave.  She rented an apartment but due to circumstances she couldn’t fully grasp, she was asked to leave.  The landlord had very valid reasons for this request but it left her homeless.  She was okay with that and I tried to help her figure out a place to live but was told rather sternly on more than one occasion, not to get involved.  It wasn’t easy but the community had some very kind and concerned souls that helped her with this life changing event and after several months of living away from her home town she returned to a crisp, clean, private room at the nursing home.  It became very evident that she wasn’t taking good care of herself while living in her apartment and the intervention became incredibly necessary.  She didn’t see it that way and I’ll never forget the day she came back to her janitor job.  I told her how happy I was to see her and with the most hollow and empty look on a face that I had ever seen she said, “I would rather be dead.”

She hated that her apartment was taken away from her.  She didn’t understand why she had to stay at the nursing home because she was convinced she could take care of herself.   I knew she wasn’t capable of handling those responsibilities but I humored her and gave her a shoulder to cry on and then I did something that changed something in both of us forever.

I can’t remember the timeline but I would venture to say it was most likely several weeks later when I saw a face that no longer displayed a hollow, empty look but rather a face filled with joy.  I no longer saw someone pushing a broom across the floor as if they were attempting to move a mountain but rather a person that looked as if she was enjoying life and I said, “You’re sure in a good mood today!”  And she said, “The sun is shining, I’m alive and life is good!”

Prayers are answered.  I’m not saying I’m the only one that prayed for this lost and lonely soul but I added mine to many others and what I witnessed was something I’ll never forget.  It didn’t change who she was or what she believed but it did remove the ache in her heart and gave her a reason to smile.

It’s never the big things…..the most precious gifts in life are and will always be…..the little things.