Have you ever wondered what the difference is between “loving” someone and being “in love” with someone? I’ve heard people separate the two on talk shows and in movies and in real life and up until a few months ago I can’t honestly say I’ve ever really thought is was possible to experience differences. I simply thought love was love and that was that.
As time goes on I’ve begun to realize the subtle differences. “Loving” someone is caring about their well being but maintaining your ability to be your own person. I believe loving someone is a bit more broad and it encompasses a vast number of people we create relationships with. I love my mom and my sister and brother and all the many wonderful people that make up my family. I have dear friends I love and they know I would do anything for them. That’s my perception of loving someone.
Being “in love” with someone is a bit more elite. From my experience, it’s very powerful and continues to grow stronger over time and it takes a lot of work but the tremendous impact it has on every ounce of our being is like nothing else we will ever experience.
The day I met Don is the day I first believed that love at first sight is real and possible and it was happening to me! I will never forget the feeling of his outstretched arms that wrapped themselves around me when we first met. It was the warmest, coziest hug I had ever experienced and I knew he was the person I had searched for in my dreams for so very long.
We weren’t the perfect couple and we still aren’t but the relationship we have worked to build together has more depth than I ever thought two people could share. We often times have the same thoughts at the same times and we laugh when we realize it. We do nice things for one another and we always enjoy the times we spend together no matter what we’re doing. It’s often times a snuggle on the couch after a long day at work as work seems to play a pretty prevalent role in each of our lives but that’s reality.
On our way home from our weekend getaway Don drove and I dozed off. I woke up and noticed he was looking at me and I said I was sorry. He asked why and I said, “I know you don’t like it when I fall asleep.” I said that because when I dozed off on one of our other drives he screamed bloody murder as if we were going to be in an accident waking me up abruptly and scaring me half to death. He thought it was going to be funny. He really did. He was wrong. I didn’t like it at all and I feared he would do it every time I dozed off in the future so I said I would never doze off again while riding with him. He offered his usual “whatever” like he always does when he thinks he’s hearing me say something I won’t stick to and he was right this time because I decided to take my chances and I did doze off.
When we were getting close to home he knew he should probably wake me up but he knew using the “screaming bloody murder” technique was most likely not the best choice. I’ve mentioned how perceptive he is and I’m quite sure it will take a very long time for him to forget about my reaction to that technique so using it again so soon was not going to be in his best interest unless, of course, he had decided he no longer valued his masculinity. His whimsical silly side was asked to step down so his heart could help his brain decide what he should do. Here’s what they came up with.
He reached over and gently rubbed his hand up and down my arm and then wound his fingers around mine and gave me a few gentle squeezes. I woke up happy and unafraid and certain that being “in love” is something I could love for a very very long time.