There is really no way to ever know just exactly what your day will bring. Sometimes I begin my day by dropping everything I attempt to pick up. Sometimes I oversleep. Sometimes I hit the snooze button several times and sometimes I actually get up before the alarm goes off. Yes, that has actually happened. Maybe like 3 times if you must know, but they count!
And then there was a morning not long ago when I thought I was ready to surprise Don with a hot steamy cup of fresh coffee. He usually makes his own but I thought he might like not having to wait for it to brew. I planned this little surprise the night before so that all I would have to do is crawl out of bed, walk down the hall and push the button on Mr. Coffee. When Don finished showering I knew his nose would lead him into the kitchen with a silly smile on his sleepy face murmuring the word “cooooffffeeeeee” with every step. The sweet surprise took a rather unexpected turn and that was the day I learned Mr. Coffee had an attitude. I found out that he prefers the carafe to be in a certain position and if it’s not, he will pump all of the water in his water holding area onto the counter rather than allowing it to flow over the coffee grounds and into the carafe. Now I’m not the type to scream and yell and throw things. I’m the type that gets upset, utters a few choice words about product quality to the hypothetical manufacturer that is located somewhere near the ceiling and then I walk away. On this particular occasion I’m quite sure Mr. Coffee thought he had won. I’m quite sure he was already thinking about of trying this again. He had no idea that my “Kodak” moment was developing and that it would force him to be sorry. You might be thinking revenge but I prefer to call it “a plan to defuse” in this case, a rather devious appliance.
I knew my plan would be most successful if implemented when I was home alone. Lucky for me, Don’s work schedule was going to require him to be gone for a few days when Mr. Coffee and his attitude were still very fresh on my mind. I waited for Don to roll his suitcase across the deck and when I heard the pickup door shut and the engine start I knew it was time to put my plan in motion!
I peeked around the corner from the living room and I could see Mr. Fussypants sitting there on the counter. He was all cocky with his aqua lighted time displayed on the sleek black display panel. His water chamber was empty so he wasn’t able to pull any of his hi-jinks on me but I know he wanted to. He knew the guy he made coffee for had left and perhaps he didn’t like me because I don’t like coffee. Maybe it was personal. For a brief second I felt a bit of compassion for him. Maybe I made him feel bad and maybe I should put an end to my plan and apologize to him. Thankfully those thoughts were extinguished by the memory of the pile of wet towels we used to clean up his mess on the morning he decided to have an attitude!
I hope this won’t change how you perceive me but I walked up to the counter. I took hold of the plug on the end of Mr. Coffee’s cord and I gave it a rather rapid tug and before he knew what had happened, he was rendered lifeless! His aqua lighted time displayed on his sleek black display panel faded away. That little dab of electricity he was so used to sipping on throughout the day was gone! I huffed a bit of breath onto my fingernails and buffed it away and said to him, “I guess it’s safe to say you won’t be having any more “light bulb” moments on how to mess with me now that I have removed your power!” This comment was followed by a rather devious bout of laughter as I walked out of the room…..bahahahahahaha! When I was a safe distance from Mr. No-Coffee I said, “I win!”and then I laughed again!
When Don returned home he noticed the coffee pot was unplugged and asked, “What’s up with this?” I told him I had trust issues with that devious machine and then I winked at Mr. No-Coffee and headed down the hall to get ready for bed.